Are there different seats on bicycles for men and for women? Just got back to cycling to work and have a bike with what looks like a regular sadle, but it really hurts my ****. Its longish and thin, is it a guys one? (and I never thought about this really but guys bums aren't THAT different are they? If I go buy a new one should I ask for a ladies sadle or will I get laughed at.

There are different men's and women's saddles. In general, men's pelvic structures are narrower than women's pelvic structures. (It has to do with birthing kids.) Thus, men's saddles are generally narrower than women's. A comfy saddle is the one that is right for your pelvis.

I particularly like Specialized saddles. They make saddles in a variety of widths for men and women. Along with their saddles, they also have a fitting system that uses a gel pad. You sit on the pad, then you measure the width of the depressions made by your pelvis. Then you buy the appropriate saddle.
I had a lot of trouble with pain and numbness prior to getting a Specialized saddle. When I did the measuring, I found I had a very narrow pelvic structure. (My kids have always said I was a tight a**, but I think we are talking about two different issues.)
Hope you find a saddle that fits you well.